Holiday pressure
Try less.
The holidays are my favourite time of year, but it’s also when I tend to become a little unhinged. Whether it’s hosting, gifting or creating memories for the kids, I put a ton of pressure on myself to make things perfect, and in doing so, I cause a lot of unnecessary stress for myself.
It’s my experience that whenever I try to do too much, it almost always backfires. On the other hand, when I keep things simple and expectations low, I feel like I can relax and actually enjoy myself. I was reminded of this a few weeks ago when we were setting up our Christmas tree.
My kids LOVE decorating the tree, and while I’d like to think it’s this fun family tradition they’ll remember forever, there’s no avoiding the chaos that usually comes with it.
As usual, the kids had hung up all the ornaments around the same section of the tree on branches that could barely hold them up, and I had to stop myself from constantly rearranging them so as not to lose my mind. Then, we had an ornament break and shatter into pieces right as I was reminding the kids to “be careful” for the millionth time. Of course, it wasn’t one of the generic ornaments that come in colour-coordinated packages, but one of the more special ones we collected over the years.
When it was finally time to put on the tree topper, my daughter insisted on being the one to do it. We had holiday music playing in the background, the kids were wearing their Santa hats and my daughter was happily hoisted on my husband’s shoulders—it was almost a picture-perfect scene.
As I started recording with my phone, my daughter struggled to perch the angel on top of the tree.
“I can’t do it. It won’t stay,” she whined while her arms shakily tried to position the topper, and my husband, holding on to her unsteadily, stumbled, trying to get closer to the tree. We couldn’t help but laugh—our attempt to create some magical experience through decorating a tree was going sideways.
“Was that good?” my husband said sarcastically, as I stopped recording to help get my daughter off his shoulders. He ended up putting the angel on top of the tree himself, and that was the end of it.
There was no perfect moment captured on camera. The way I envisioned decorating the tree with the kids would be like, didn’t pan out. And, you know what? It didn’t matter. Kids were happy (most importantly), the tree was done, and my husband and I had a good laugh that night about our holiday parenting fail.
As we get closer to Christmas and the New Year, I hope you’re able to take some of the pressure off yourself, too. Take deep breaths, and try less.
Some recommendations:
According to a study from last month, which surveyed 500 working parents in the U.S., stress is at an all-time high and parental guilt rises during the holiday season (no surprise.) One finding, in particular, showed that guilt among working mothers is higher than male parents (69% vs. 63%) during the holiday season due to the pressure to do it all. Again, it’s no surprise that the invisible labour of creating “holiday magic” primarily falls on mothers. Here are some tips on how to cope.
We hosted a party with friends last weekend, and I made this Baked Feta Appetizer and this Crispy Baked Boursin Cheese (swapped the chilli honey for red pepper jelly we already had in the fridge.) Both were huge hits. They required minimal ingredients and were easy to whip up—two prerequisites for any party food I make since I always underestimate how much time I have to prepare!
One last thing
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This was the first year I wasn’t on top of Christmas decor and it felt good to slow down and take my time. I love the holidays but it’s also easy for me to fall into the trap of rushing to get things done and not enjoying the process as much. So refreshing to read I’m not the only one who experiences similar sentiments with the holidays!