For reference #05
Looks I’m saving, notes and links vol. 5: Date night with jeans
This series is my attempt to make my scrolling useful by sharing with you the looks I’m saving for future reference, notes on what I like about them and a few links. Occasionally, I might share how I tried to recreate a look that inspired me.
Think of these as a collection of ideas for real-life dressing.
I find most of my inspiration for getting dressed on Instagram and (now) Substack. Am I ever “influenced”? Sure. But I try to be mindful of not buying everything I see and like. Mostly, I find the practice of having references helpful for knowing how to put together similar pieces I have in my closet and narrowing down my shopping list.
I’ll share a few links here as that’s something I would want if I were looking for a particular piece—though I always suggest sleeping on things first to avoid buying something you don’t need. More than anything, what I hope you get from these are some good ideas, not the urge to shop more.
My approach to date night usually leans a little overdressed. It’s easy to throw on an old dress hanging in my closet and a black blazer over my shoulders and be done with it. The formula has served me well whenever we’ve gone someplace nice.
But what about those date nights that call for a more casual dress code? You know, like going to the movies, or a restaurant that serves pizza instead of steak. That’s where I tend to get stuck. Finding that sweet spot between feeling relaxed and put together takes a bit more thought and effort from me. Lindsay Sword recently wrote about a similar dilemma in her brilliant post about the in-between outfit, or as she referred to it, “halfway to fancy”.
Usually, my solution for toning down a date night look is grounded in a pair of great denim. The tricky part? Styling them in a way that’s slightly more elevated than how I would wear them in my regular day-to-day (it is date night after all). How do we find the right balance between dressy and casual for date night with jeans? Let’s explore together.
1. Exposing a hint of skin
This is an old reference by now, but there’s something about Jennifer Lawrence’s red, slouchy off-the-shoulder sweater that still hits.
When the temperatures start to drop, an off-the-shoulder sweater gives just the right amount of skin to bare for date night, in my opinion. I ended up finding a beautiful red sweater at Aritzia last year that reminded me of JLaw’s, although I wish I had sized up for a more oversized, drapey fit.
I tried styling it with straight-leg jeans in a darker wash, similar to what she’s wearing in the picture, but didn’t love the look. Since my sweater isn’t as oversized, it was missing that relaxed vibe, so I tried it with a pair of looser, wide-leg denim instead, and that did the trick. This is the beauty of having references—it doesn’t need to be an exact copy-paste, but something we can take direction from.
My red sweater is sold out, but they have a similar off-the-shoulder style that comes in a deeper shade and other colours. I also found this chic, longer option from Modern Citizen that I really like.
2. Styling your blazer
Instead of a dress and blazer, the base here consists of basics like jeans and a shirt. It strikes that balance between casual and polished, but what I think makes it feel more like date night, and less like you’re going to a meeting, is how the blazer is styled.
Another way to try styling a blazer is wearing it as a top, which I’ve mentioned before here. I know some blazers (like this one) work better for this than others, but I was reminded of how much I love this look recently when I read my friend Emily Grady Dodge’s Outfit Diary of her trip to Paris. Honestly, all her outfits were so good, but this one stood out to me because of how she made a blazer look effortlessly cool, pairing it with her cuffed jeans and sneakers.
3. Or swap a blazer for a leather/suede jacket
Leather and suede jackets are pretty standard this time of year, so naturally, a lot of my references lately revolve around them. They’re less formal than a blazer and add a bit of edge, which I like.
Again, the base can be pretty simple—a white tee, straight-leg jeans, and black ballet flats (or these from Mango), plus some cool shades. The leather jacket in this picture, of course, makes the outfit, with its high collar silhouette, which is really having a moment right now (a pricey but statement option here).
If I had to pick something suede, I’d go for this from Sezane, paired with an ankle boot with a low, block heel (currently 30% off with code LONGWEEKEND). A cashmere scarf (triangle or rectangle) wrapped around the neck adds a nice, cozy touch.
4. Elevating jeans and a button-up
During the day, I’ll keep my button-ups pretty loose and laid-back, usually leaving them untucked with the bottom buttons undone. Or in a half tuck or French tuck. But for date night, I prefer the more polished look of tucking in the whole shirt.
I immediately screenshotted this for reference when I came across it because I’m this close to adding a checked button-up to my wardrobe. I’d pair it with dark or black denim, a brown and silver belt, and those same ankle boots with a block heel. Accessorize with a dainty watch to keep it simple.
It shouldn’t make sense, but adding even more denim somehow works as a date night look. I never realized before how much I needed a denim shirt until I was gifted this one* from Frank & Eileen. I love it so much because it’s perfectly relaxed and so soft. I wear it with my Denim Forum Arlo jeans for a monochromatic denim-on-denim look and black ballet flats (although I think you could have a bit more fun with it, like a sleek, brown suede slipper, or leopard flats).
Another recent screenshot, this time from London-based With Nothing Underneath, because this is my kind of date night outfit. Anything with a satin finish feels romantic to me, and I love how they’ve pared down the luxe brown button-up with a pair of light denim jeans. It’s not fancy, it’s not casual—it’s somewhere in the middle. The gold hardware in the belt and the gold accessories also stood out to me because of how they warm up the look. I’d do something similar, with this belt, and these small hoops and bangle* from Jenny Bird.
5. When in doubt, go for a turtleneck
A sleek black turtleneck is my version of a going-out top for the fall and winter. Not only is it a classic wardrobe staple, but it hits that combination of being elegant, low-effort and sexy (yes, a turtleneck can be sexy, according to my husband), all at the same time. It’s also the kind of piece that I would save on, since the style is pretty forgiving (you don’t need an expensive one to make it look chic). This one from COS is similar to the one I bought from Artizia last year (down to the thumbholes), but I also like this one from Gap and Uniqlo. For the ultimate high-low outfit, I’d splurge on a pair of stunning earrings to go with.
More for reference
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*For transparency, gifted items are marked with an asterisk. I’m selective when it comes to gifting and only feature the pieces that work with my life and style.
Such a lovely edit!!! Always honored to be included. <3 Also, love that you went to an Usher concert for your anniversary. You've inspired me to make it to one so I can sing and dance my heart out!!
how did I miss this?! I just thrifted a wool blazer and I cannot wait to wear it for a date night. I'm going to come back to this for some inspo. I love how Emily styled it so much, very into the asymmetrical blazer look. If you try WNU, please keep us posted! I've been so curious about the brand.