A mood: romanticizing your life
On the little things that make your day more pleasant.
Everyone has their own version of romanticizing their life. It may not always be what you see in the perfectly-edited reels on Instagram: candle-lit dinners, watching sunsets by the water, savouring a croissant in a busy Paris café.
Of course, the “romanticize your life” trend started on social media, and while there’s enough cringey content on it to make you roll your eyes, I can appreciate the sentiments around gratitude and living in the moment. There’s no harm in finding joy in the little things.
The New York Times explored the trend in an article published two years ago, noting that it gives way to a larger question:
“What truly brings us happiness? Is it that expensive vacation or that new piece of clothing? Or should we stop waiting for that picture-perfect moment and start enjoying the present?”
When I think about this idea of romanticizing life, it conjures up memories of my grandma, who lived with us when I was growing up. I remember her getting up every morning and putting on her red Avon lipstick and pearl clip-on earrings in front of the mirror. She had nowhere to go other than to drop me off at the bus stop for school and then return to the same bus stop to pick me up in the afternoons—yet she never left the house without her lipstick and earrings.
I’m sure she didn’t think of these simple acts as ways of romanticizing her life, but that’s what it represents to me. In my mind, romanticizing life is a lot like setting a mood for the day. Simple ways to take ourselves out of autopilot mode and make life a little more pleasant. A little more interesting. A little more colourful.
A few other things that make me think of this concept of romanticizing your life…
A soundtrack to your life
Wouldn’t it be nice if life had a soundtrack, just like the movies, and music played based on the mood you’re in? I think so. I have different playlists that go with different parts of my day—when I write, when I eat, when I get ready in the morning. Our background dinner music is a mix of old tunes (e.g., Sam Cooke, Dean Martin for pasta night) and new (Leon Bridges, mostly.) Sometimes, my husband likes to tell the kids the stories behind the songs or what the lyrics mean. Music not only adds to the ambience, but I think it’s also our way of romanticizing dinnertime for our kids (we always say we hope they have memories of the songs we listened to as a family when they get older.)
And on the topic of soundtracks, I have a playlist called “Rom com.” It’s no surprise to anyone who knows me that I love soundtracks from rom-coms. The playlist includes music from movies, like Prime and Serendipity, and other random songs that remind me of something that would be in a movie scene.
Putting our phones down
You know what you don’t see in rom-coms? Characters constantly on their phones filming their every move for “content”. I get that for some people, this is their livelihood, but perhaps, the reason why we don’t see this side of our reality portrayed in movies is because the presence of phones just isn’t… romantic or ideal.
On her Substack, Freya India writes a compelling case for putting your phone down in “You Don’t Need to Document Everything.” I highly encourage you to read it if you haven’t already because it sheds some scary truths on our society’s obsession with documenting everything from the mundane to profoundly personal moments. In it, she writes:
“The most meaningful experiences in human life—things that happen once, twice, never again—corrupted by thoughts like is the camera getting my good angle.”
And this…
“Influencers are of course the most extreme examples—but this impulse is so ingrained in everyone now. This pressure to post everything. And I think it’s a massive cause of anxiety for Gen Z. There’s a sense now that something didn’t happen if you don’t share it. There are young people who wouldn’t understand going to an event, travelling somewhere, being in a relationship, if they couldn’t post about it. They would not see the point. They simply cannot conceive of a life that exists without an audience consuming it.”
I admit, I’m guilty of filming things instead of just experiencing them sometimes. I whip out my phone to take pictures of what we’re eating or doing for date night. I’m always trying to capture something cute my kids are doing, not for social media (I don’t share much about my kids publicly because I’ve read too many articles on privacy issues and the potential effects on their mental health), but for my own memories. Even then, I can’t help but notice that having my phone out sometimes takes away from the moment and makes it feel less natural. I have no answers for what the right balance should be, but I’m definitely trying to be more conscious of when’s the right time to document a memory vs. live in the moment. After all, there’s something romantic about Freya’s advice to “Let some memories fade and look back at them through fuzzy nostalgia…”
Not saving your good clothes
I used to have a habit of buying something new and hold off on wearing it right away. I’d have clothes/bags/shoes in my closet that I only saved for special occasions, even though they were sensible enough for any day of the week. My reasoning lacked common sense, and I think it was more of a desire to preserve those pieces (that silly mentality to not waste a good outfit.)
But this goes back to my point about the story of my grandma and her red lipstick and pearl earrings. Getting dressed and wearing something you feel good in can set the mood for your day. Working from home, it’d be easy to just stay in my pyjamas all day (which I do sometimes), but I notice a difference in how I feel and my motivation to write when I put effort into wearing an outfit I like. I can pretend to be a Carrie Bradshaw instead of a tired mom who works from home.
I think the point I’m trying to make here is to live your life and wear your good clothes, even if you have nowhere to go.
If you’re interested, I’ve rounded up some pieces to go along with this romanticize your life/Valentine’s Day vibe, including bows, lace, Mary Janes, a special occasion off-the-shoulder dress, and splurge-y tennis necklace (you can find the full edit here.)*
*This post contains some affiliate links, and I may receive a small percentage from anything you purchase through a link. As always, I provide suggestions for only the things I love and would wear.
One last thing
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I love this Maria! When I think of romanticizing my life I conjure ideas of enjoying all the parts of our life without hoping it looked different. We imagine (romanticize) vacations (as an example) as being a certain way and then can feel disappointed when they don’t live up. BUT the vacation was still great, we just set too high of expectations.
Since I think about a ton through the lens of clothes, I think we should all start romanticizing our closets too. Rather than hoping to buy more new things, we can practice loving/appreciating what we have now.
Some days it’s the only the little things that get me by. Really resonate with not saving the good clothes for an occasion - i was always guilty of that and then finally got over myself and wore what I wanted wherever, it was liberating.